And it is almost time for the traveling to home to start.
I have to get my ass up bright and early in the morning around 4AM so that I can get my ass to the airport by 530 or so to catch a 7AM flight out of Austin. And then in between I have to keep my fingers crossed that the weather in the NE cooperates so that I can actually get all the way home.
On another more serious note, because this is something that has been on my mind for a couple of weeks now and since this is my anonymous source of posting things I am going to share this. It strikes a chord for me because I have been clean and sober now for nearly 9 years. But I get to basically watch my wife continue to be in the throws of her own addiction involving food, anorexia to be more specific. She has been obsessed with her weight and how she looks for pretty much the entire time we have been together, which is going on 27 years now, and of course for a good portion of that time she got to experience me in my addiction, and was there for my bottom. It appears that she doesn’t have a bottom and I don’t think she will ever actually see that bottom, and I say that more because of something she said a couple of weeks ago after remarking about how much I ate at dinner (while she left her food pretty much unfinished) as I said to her, if I didn’t force you to eat you would starve to death. At which time she remarked yes I probably would, and she said it with a smile.
She has pretty much been subsisting on maybe around 500 – 600 calories a day for quite some time now, it might even be less, I only ever see her eat dinner in the evening, I don’t know what she actually eats during the day. I also don’t know what she eats when I am traveling, she says she does but I really don’t know.
I have read enough material to know that one can subsist off this little for a long long time, but it will have consequences on ones body, I make sure she gets a vitamin supplement daily, that likely helps. She is obsessed with losing weight, she doesn’t however realize that she has shot out her metabolism and she won’t lose anymore weight at all, and if she starts eating more calories a day she will just gain weight quickly, I am sure, I haven’t mentioned that I just keep trying to get her to eat more.
I worry that her bottom is going to wind up being something quite severe, and it won’t be pretty, I know it will happen, eventually, I just don’t know when. I don’t know how long her body will continue to function before the low amount of calories starts to actually take a real toll, though I am sure it has in some ways, that I am must not noticing as I should.
OK, that is enough for now, I have to go to sleep as 4AM comes early and I want to get my happy ass home!